(school bell rings)
So, there's three seconds left on the clock and swoosh!
Right through the net. It was totally awesome. Then...
Zachary Williams, please report to the principal's office.
(all exclaim)
You're in so much trouble!
Hey, no problemo. Principal probably wants to put a statue of me in the gym.
(whistles)
No! (screaming)
(school bell rings)
Check it out! The First Annual Beverly Hills Youth Spirit Awards is looking for
contestants who typify youthful enthusiasm, ambition and optimism.
That is so you, Sammy.
I wish I could be more optimistic about what they're serving for lunch.
Fiber, riboflavin and vitamins.
Everything developing gals need to grow fit and healthy.
Ugh. I'm starting to think fit an healthy is over-rated, Mrs. Muckle.
Please tell me you're not entering the contest that I'm gonna win.
I have just as much chance as you.
FYI, this award goes to someone who best exhibits youthfulness.
You're better suited to enter the Senior Olympics.
Puh-lease, Mandy. Sam's got twice as much youthful... youth as you!
Whatever. I'm just trying to save her from total embarrassment.
After all, she's the one with gray hair.
Gray hair?
Of course, if you get one, you're sure to get another and another...
Yeah, right. But I'm just going to check anyway.
I guess it's not so bad. Gray hair is distinguishing, right?
Totally. I mean, what's the big deal? It's just one gray hair.
I can't believe I said that. I'll just get rid of it.
Don't pluck it! Five more will grow in its place!
I thought you said it was no big deal.
One hair is no big deal.
Five is an irreversible trend.
I don't even want one.
Oh, now see what you've done, Clover? Better tell her about our surprise.
Oh, yeah! This will cheer you up.
ALEX: Front-row seats to Happy Fun Fellas.
How did you get those?! That concert's sold out!
The manager of the arena has a cousin who lives next door to the best friend
of a man who married a childhood classmate of the mother of a guy I know.
- I flirted and he got me the tickets. I guess it really is who you know.
Anyway, we can't go to the concert if you're crying about your hair, can we?
I guess not. Thanks, Clover.
(they scream)
So glad you could breeze through.
As if we had a choice.
Let's cut to the chase.
Oceanside Middle School is known for its superior athletic programs.
Their teams have won championships for years. Suddenly they're losing.
Wow. They don't look like they'd win a knitting championship.
I want you girls to investigate this strange shift in the student body.
Sam, you'll pose as a history teacher.
Alex, you'll be a gymnastics coach.
-And Clover, you'll be a lunch lady.
As if! Try again, Jer.
You could always go undercover as a janitor or a trigonometry teacher.
On second thought, where's my hairnet?
Now on to the gadgets.
Hoop earring communicators,
expandable cable bungee belts, Velcro band 3D body analyzer wristwatch.
(laughter)
ALEX: That tickles.
And finally, DNA scanner sunglasses,
a butterfly laser emitting pendant
and a multi-purpose army knife.
You never know.
How long will this job take?We're going to a Happy Fun Fellas concert on Friday!
Well, then I guess we'd better get you started immediately.
(they scream)
This is ridiculous. Who'd ever believe I could pass as a lunch lady?
Hey, lunch lady. What's on the menu today?
(cat-like growl)
(kid screams)
Let's take our undercover positions before the rest of the kids show up.
(blows whistle)
Alex: OK, team, that was really... slow.
Let's hit the showers!
Alright, everybody out!
But we just started.
Alex: It's not like you worked up a sweat out there.
Wow, their DNA has been changed.
It's like they have the genetic traits of someone in their eighties.
(school bell rings)
Sam: OK, class, today we're going to learn about the Cold War.
I need a volunteer to be the Soviet Union.
OK, I'll volunteer someone.
How about you?
Uh... Theodore?
Oh, wonderful!
May I say it is indeed an honor and a privilege to participate in such a lively classroom endeavor...
Bravo, you go!
Stand over there. I'm gonna need some satellite nations.
You be Yugoslavia.
How about you as Czechoslovakia?
Everybody come and face the blackboard.
But why?
Because you're the Berlin Wall.
Everybody close your eyes to simulate night time. You too, Theodore.
But I'm the Soviet Union.
Sam: You're taking a nap!
(snoring)
Weird. Glandular function slowing down.
Mental alertness dangerously low.
Small contusions on their foreheads.
Energy and vitality levels...
Hm, not that bad.
OK, maybe I was wrong about that.
What'll you have?
Prunes, please.
How about some ice cream? Or cake?
No. I'd better stick with the prunes.
How about you?
Prunes also, please.
And if you have anything else easy to chew, that would be great.
Easy to chew? You've got a head full of strong teeth!
Yeah, those were the days.
OK, is it me, or are these kids about as lively as sloths?
It's like they've all had life-o-suction.
We've got to figure out who's behind this.
Darn kids, making messes everywhere they go. Snot-nosed good for nothings.
OK, I think we've just found our number one suspect.
Look! That teacher is turning a kid into a zombie!
Oh, no you don't!
What do you think you're doing?!
Stopping you from stealing this student's youth.
I was only showing the lad that he got an A+ on his science test.
I never got an A+ before. Gosh, thanks, Mrs. Kelleher!
Sam: We are so sorry.
I don't recall seeing you at this school before.
Um... we're part of the school district's
substitute gym teacher/history teacher/lunch lady program! Gotta go!
Yeah!
Here's the copies you needed, collated and alphabetized.
I also got these to brighten up your room.
Thank you, Theodore, they're beautiful. You're a nice kid.
Why don't you go and play?
I would but my friends are boring.
They just talk about their aches and pains.
Don't you have anything else that needs to be done?
OK... How about distributing these memos to all classrooms?
Great. Thanks!
(whooshing)
(gasps)
(gasps)
(screams)
No! Please! Don't!
Ooh, a pep rally! I love these school events.
They're so full of energy.
Thus, the term "pep" rally.
Sam: Theodore, what's the matter?
Guys, this is really serious.
Spread out and look for anyone suspicious.
As you all know, this weekend is Oceanside Junior High School's
Homecoming game, so let's all give a rousing cheer to the football team.
(applause)
(half-hearted cheering)
This is no pep rally, it's a pep funeral!
Weirder that Principal Smith doesn't notice the kids are acting strangely.
He either doesn't notice, or he doesn't care.
Maybe he knows why they're acting that way.
Let's see what Jerry can tell us about this guy.
Alex: Jerry, it's Alex. Can you do some research on Principal John Smith?
Jerry: Certainly. Here you go.
It says that Smith was previously a headmaster
at Ravenswood Boys' School in England.
He left under mysterious circumstances.
Looks like we're going on a field trip.
Wow, looks familiar, huh?
Just like the students at Oceanside.
- (school bell rings)
SAM: Hmm. Lunchtime.
Perfect for spy mode, girls.
SAM: OK, let's see what we can find out about Smith.
Nothing in here.
What's this? Ah-ha.
(they scream)
That was really unexpected.
Whoa! If only I had a finger big enough to wear that on a ring.
This manuscript describes how youth can be extracted from people's souls.
This guy looks familiar.
ALEX: He looks like Principal Smith!
Why is he in those ancient clothes?
Because Smith is 800 years old!
This is his journal. There's entries dating back to the 13th century.
Smith must be stealing youth and administering it to himself.
I bet that jewel has something to do with it.
Clover: You mean Smith literally found a fountain of youth?
(they scream)
It's the janitor!
And the teacher!
What are you doing here?
Question is What are you doing here?
Getting rid of you brats!
(groans)
(all gasp)
We can't let them get away!
(screams)
SAM: Where'd they go?
Clover: Where'd Alex go?
BOTH: Alex!
Sammy! (screams)
Where could they have taken Alex?
Look!
Alex! Are you alright?
(gasps)
They drained her youth!
Follow her!
Where did she go?
(both scream)
Now we got you!
I don't get it.
Why are you doing Smith's dirty work?
SMITH: Give up, girls. There's no escape.
I'm not sure how you discovered my little enterprise,
but you've made a terrible mistake.
We know you're stealing these kids' youth. You won't get away with it.
On the contrary, I have for centuries
and this last big score will provide me with
enough youth to give me immortality.
What do you mean, "last big score?"
I mean the Happy Fun Fellas concert.
You wouldn't dare!
If you touch a hair on their precious heads,
I'll open a heavy duty can of WOOHP brand butt-whoop on ya!
And miss one of the largest gatherings of young people in years?
(laughs)
I think not.
Soon all that youth will be mine.
Open the windows!
SMITH: The Jewel of Sumatra.
Quite rare, only three in the world and I have them all.
When the sun strikes it, its rays will disperse and pass through you,
taking your youth along with it.
We gotta get loose before that jewel turns our brains into oatmeal.
SAM: I can't get my hands free.
This is awful.
I am too young to be old.
OK, try swinging back and forth.
Maybe I can untie your hands.
SAM: OK, I've got you! Now if I can just cut your rope.
CLOVER: Hurry up, Sam! The sun's almost hitting the jewel!
I'm doing my best!
Alex, can you give Sam a hand?!
OK. Right after my nap. (snores)
Alex, wake up!
(Clover screams)
OK, somebody's going to have to go lighter on the ice cream!
Um... Clover?
Clover: What?
SAM: Might want to close your eyes.
Clover: Why?
(they scream)
That went well.
Come on! We gotta get to that concert before it's too late!
(crowd cheers)
Hey, Beverly Hills! Are you ready to rock!?
(music starts)
They could be anywhere. Let's spread out.
Right. I'll check backstage.
Alex, why don't you... just sit here and enjoy the music?
Um...
GUARD: Whoa!
(gasps)
Where do you think you're going?
I have to get back there and save the world!
Nobody ever pulled that one on me!
But you...
Back you go, missy.
(cheering)
Clover, I see him!
Once the circuit is connected, the final assault will begin. Hurry!
This oughta slow him down.
How did she get loose?
I guess I'll have to finish her off myself.
(screams)
Give it up, Smith. You will never get away with this.
On the contrary, young lady, I already have.
Hey, this isn't in the script.
(gasps)
Yes. That's it. Give me all your precious youth!
(gasps)
Ah. Hey, I wonder if...
Hey!
Sorry! I love your music!
Stop her!
(screams)
Smith: You could have at least fallen on her!
Where do you think you're going?
Class dismissed.
Outta my way.
(gasps)
(screams)
Clover: Don't even think about it. Your youth sucking ways are over.
Sam: Not so fast, Smith.
No!
Was that part of our show?
That's weird.
ALEX: Hey! I feel like myself again!
And not a second too soon.
I was starting to worry that we'd have to put you into a retirement home.
Jerry: Nice work, girls. What happened to Smith?
We're not exactly sure. This is all he left behind.
Odd. I hope we've seen the last of him.
For his sake, I hope we have, too.
OK, girls, I've been old long enough. Let's dance!
ALL: Go Jerry, go Jerry, go Jerry!
I am so glad that's over with.
Yeah, no offense, Alex, but you didn't age too gracefully.
Speaking of not aging gracefully,
I should withdraw from the Youth Spirit competition.
Who'd vote for a teenager with gray hair?
- Wait, your gray hair is gone! I told you not to pluck it, Sam.
I didn't. But I did wash my hair. Oh, I am so lame.
Duh, I was working on an art project, using gray paint!
I'm not getting old, I'm just messy!
Put a sock in it!
They're just about to name me winner.
And the Youth Spirit Award goes to... Mrs. Muckle!
ALL: Mrs. Muckle?!
Mrs. Muckle has 50 years of volunteer work,
leadership in the orphanage's annual trip to Europe,
a series of cookbooks with profits donated to help build the kindergarten.
Congratulations, Mrs. Muckle. You deserved to win.
It's not how old you are, it's how you are being old!
Come on down, Mrs. Muckle, and claim your prize!
A brand-new Wave Slicer jet ski!
It's OK, Sam. There's always next year.
Or the year after that.
Or the next 50 years after that.
(they laugh)